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7/30/2018 0 Comments Hate Is Learned!Did you know hate is a LEARNED condition? Human beings weren't born to hate! We need to be better role models to our kids because they see how others hate on each other and think it's okay. Hate is NOT okay! Where would a 7-year old kid get the idea to hate a person who is different than them?? From their surroundings, parents, family members, friends, etc. The chain of hate needs to be broken and it's up to us as adults to start showing kindness and love, no matter the race, creed, sexual orientation, handicaps... we are ALL human. Love is what we were born to do. Let's not deny who we really are deep down and learn to love again... love others and ourselves. 
0 Comments
6/18/2018 0 Comments Tips On CyberbullyingWhat is Cyberbullying?
What do you do if you're being cyberbullied? Here are a few tips from StompOUTBullying.org, StopBullying.gov and Mamma Z, to help anyone out there who is a victim of cyberbullying.
Stand Up to Cyberbullying! If you see someone being an online bully, call them out and tell them to stop. Report them if necessary. No one should feel like they can't get away or don't have a safe place to go. Cyberbullying is so easy for bullies to hurt others outside of school; kids can't get away from the abuse. Cutting the cord would be an impossible feat so let's do our part to make the Internet a safer place for all.
National Suicide Prevention LifeLine |
 | Be sure to Speak Up! If you feel safe AND confident enough to confront the bully yourself, be calm and don't bully them back. Ask them to stop and tell them they're not being cool. Sometimes laughing it off neutralizes the situation and takes the wind out of their sails. |
| Tell an adult you TRUST. Parents, teachers, coaches, school counselor are a great start but if you're having troubles on getting their help, keep looking for someone who will until the problem is resolved. Don't Give Up! |  |
Avoid the bully's hangouts or where the bullying happens. If it's at school or somewhere you HAVE to be, then be around other friends or an adult.
 | Learn self defense to help build confidence. We will never condone violence but knowing you have the power to defend yourself is a great start to growing your confidence. We all know bullies are cowards! So when they SEE your confidence, they will more than likely back down. |
| Be a friend to someone who is bullied. Just showing you care means the world to them. Be understandable, supportive, and inclusive with activities. Be a light in someone's life! |  |
National Suicide Prevention LifeLine
Call 1-800-273-8255
GLBT Youth National TalkLine
1-800-246-PRIDE
https://www.stopbullying.gov/
http://stompoutbullying.org/
HELPCHAT LINE
Mamma Z gives her thoughts on the difference between the terms Acceptance and Tolerance being used in schools as bully-prevention programs:
"Tolerance in schools" or "Zero-Tolerance campaigns" don't seem to have a very positive connotation attached. Of course, the WAY it's being taught is different and I'm not condemning that at all. However, I think using the term Acceptance would be more beneficial to young children rather than Tolerance because it's positive and not something they're forced to do.
When you really think about the meaning of the words and their synonyms, you'll be able to understand their differences and see why I think the term Tolerance should be changed. Simply put, Acceptance has more positive meanings behind it such as 'welcome', 'favorable', 'receptive', 'receiving'. To tolerate something or someone means to endure, put up with, stomach, deal with... is that what we want to teach our kids?
In my opinion, when anyone is forced to deal with something or someone, there's going to be some resentment attached. If we taught Acceptance early on and on a daily basis, children will learn to be welcoming of other people's differences and not feel like they HAVE to put up with them.
Watch the video and let us know your thoughts in the comments! And don't forget to SUBSCRIBE!
"Tolerance in schools" or "Zero-Tolerance campaigns" don't seem to have a very positive connotation attached. Of course, the WAY it's being taught is different and I'm not condemning that at all. However, I think using the term Acceptance would be more beneficial to young children rather than Tolerance because it's positive and not something they're forced to do.
When you really think about the meaning of the words and their synonyms, you'll be able to understand their differences and see why I think the term Tolerance should be changed. Simply put, Acceptance has more positive meanings behind it such as 'welcome', 'favorable', 'receptive', 'receiving'. To tolerate something or someone means to endure, put up with, stomach, deal with... is that what we want to teach our kids?
In my opinion, when anyone is forced to deal with something or someone, there's going to be some resentment attached. If we taught Acceptance early on and on a daily basis, children will learn to be welcoming of other people's differences and not feel like they HAVE to put up with them.
Watch the video and let us know your thoughts in the comments! And don't forget to SUBSCRIBE!
Part 1
During an intimate discussion with Mamma Z, she talks about her childhood bullies and what she did to overcome them. She wanted others to know about her stories to
A. let people know they're not alone
B. explain some resolution do's and don'ts
C. explain to people how bullying can stick with you, even years later
And
D. Confidence is everything.
A. let people know they're not alone
B. explain some resolution do's and don'ts
C. explain to people how bullying can stick with you, even years later
And
D. Confidence is everything.
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Many people think that most bullying is "teasing" or that it's a show of affection... that mentality needs to stop immediately. That's just another way to brush severe underlying issues under the rug and encourage victim blaming and shaming. Click here to read about the effects of bullying.
Mamma Z's goal is to encourage bullied victims to talk about their stories. No more being quiet. The more we talk, the more people listen, the more they learn that bullying is NOT okay.
Mamma Z's goal is to encourage bullied victims to talk about their stories. No more being quiet. The more we talk, the more people listen, the more they learn that bullying is NOT okay.
What's your story? What did you do to overcome your bullies? Did you have someone you could trust to talk with? We'd love to hear your story in the comments. No more silence.
This video is split up in TWO parts so be sure to watch for the conclusion video!
This video is split up in TWO parts so be sure to watch for the conclusion video!
4/23/2018 0 Comments
Choose Your Words Wisely DEMO!
In this episode, Mamma Z shows the viewers at home her Choose Your Words Wisely demonstration used in her anti-bullying classroom presentations.
This visual demonstration shows children the effects of bad words said to others and once it's been said, it cannot be taken back. Many people don't think before they speak and their words can mean life or death to someone struggling. So choose your words wisely and help lift someone up!
Our goal is to show children words DO hurt. We all must choose our words wisely because we don't know what other people are going through. We are all in this together so let's spread kindness to others and keep lifting each other up!
~Mamma Z
Our goal is to show children words DO hurt. We all must choose our words wisely because we don't know what other people are going through. We are all in this together so let's spread kindness to others and keep lifting each other up!
~Mamma Z
12/22/2017 1 Comment
My kid is the bully...What do I do?
Parent's Worst Realization....
As a parent, you take special pride in your children, after all, they are your offspring. They are an extension of yourself in many ways, so anything they do or not do is a direct reflection of you as a parent in the eyes of society. When your kid is a model of perfection, it brings a prideful tear to your eye..
BUT... What happens when you get the news...
YOUR kid is the school bully.
**screeching halt** **record scratch** **crickets chirp**
This can be a difficult pill to swallow right away. But, NO NOT WORRY! This is something that you can easily address and give them the proper guidance on how to correct the behavior and show them why it's important that we make sure everyone is treated equally and respectfully
**screeching halt** **record scratch** **crickets chirp**
This can be a difficult pill to swallow right away. But, NO NOT WORRY! This is something that you can easily address and give them the proper guidance on how to correct the behavior and show them why it's important that we make sure everyone is treated equally and respectfully
Common Misconception...
First Thing: Your Kid is NOT Evil |
It is a common misconception that if a kid is a bully, that they may be "evil" or just mean at heart. This is not always the case! Some kids have a hard time expressing themselves, or feel as though they cannot be heard, so they take their aggression out in other ways.
Pull them aside and tell them they are OK! A kid could be very upset about something at school and has not come forward with it, or maybe they feel singled out in some way. So, always make sure when you talk to them about this, not to make them feel even more singled out or afraid. You want to open the discussion of bullying with them where they feel safe and can open up about what is going on. |
Get Involved with the School
This one may be tricky because of guidelines that schools have in place. But, the best thing you can do is keep in constant communication with them. Things to look for include:
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Schools should be a Bully-Free Zone |
Help Them to Understand
Do your children know the effects of bullying? When I ask this question, parents always say, "Yeah, they know. We have talked about it before!"
I'll stop most of them right there and clarify what I mean by the question. Just because you "told" them or "talked to them" about bullying, does not mean they fully UNDERSTAND what bullying is and why it can be harmful to other children. Because, if they DID fully understand it, they would not be doing it.
Tell them about the 4 types of bullying:
I'll stop most of them right there and clarify what I mean by the question. Just because you "told" them or "talked to them" about bullying, does not mean they fully UNDERSTAND what bullying is and why it can be harmful to other children. Because, if they DID fully understand it, they would not be doing it.
Tell them about the 4 types of bullying:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Cyber
- Social
Just because they were bullied, doesn't make it right to bully others
Don't Allow Them to Play the Victim Card
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Playing the victim is the easiest way out for bullies. It makes them feel that how they reacted in the situation was completely justified. It also communicates an opinion that they are not responsible for their actions.
Nip It In the Bud Allowing victim-thinking to take hold in your kids will leave them open to a barrage of problems going forward in life. They’ll find it hard to change and grow. Kids who play the victim card get accustomed to that way of thinking and end up not living a well productive and beneficial lifestyle. Let them know that it is not okay to bully even if they themselves have suffered at the hands of bullies before. |
Why does your kid bully?
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Show Them That They Always Have A Choice
Bullying doesn’t happen because the victim encouraged it. The bullies need to know this! It is your duty and obligation as a parent to help them realize that the choice they made was wrong and ended up hurting the true victim.
Even in group and peer pressure scenarios, the choice is theirs to make. Tell them it is better to dissociate from such groups that make you do “bad things” to others than be part of it. That IS a choice they do have.
Even in group and peer pressure scenarios, the choice is theirs to make. Tell them it is better to dissociate from such groups that make you do “bad things” to others than be part of it. That IS a choice they do have.
Parent's have their own form of justice
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Make Sure that the Punishment Fits the Crime
Sometimes your kid bullies out of habit and cannot help it. In those cases, the damage done needs to be reversed and they need to be punished for the bullying that they’ve done. This acts as a negative reinforcement and will help them let go of the behavior of bullies to adopt a better approach to dealing with problems.
For Example: If you find that they write hurtful comments a gaming forum, maybe the best way to deal with this is to take away their gaming privileges for the week, but make sure theyunderstand WHY you did this. You aren't trying to be the "mean" parent...but a parent that wants to raise someone who is respectful and respected. |
Teach Them How They Can Make It better
Maybe the reason why your kid took the approach that most bullies do is that they do not fully understand the importance of empathy. Developing this trait is extremely important in our society. Next time your kid bullies someone and you have a talk with them, tell them how they made the victim feel. This will encourage them to develop empathy for others. Sometimes a simple "sorry" may not be enough. You may have to take it a step further:
- Write out an apology letter to the victim
- Give the victim a peace offering gift
LIMITED TIME ONLY!
Only $9.99 Paperback of Amazon!
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Mamma ZMamma Z is the Author and Illustrator of the Children's Book Series "Zombie Squirts." |
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Here’s how you can help your kid take a stand against bullying.
We all know what it was like being a kid. Managing play and homework along with classes at school. Many of us that were unfortunate enough to be bullied in school or after may remember that very well. What if your kid is going through the same? It can get worse if you do not take a stand against bullying, even if your child won’t.
Why is Standing up Important?
It isn't a surprise to find out that bullying has become almost an epidemic in today's world. It has become so much easier to become a bully because of the ease of access to people's weaknesses or differences through social media.
If you read this and you do not fully understand the effects of bullying you might want to check out those first, so that way you have a fully grasp on why this topic of Taking a Stand Against Bullying is so important.
I want to take the time to break down a few things you should keep in mind when trying to stand up to bullying and the importance of each one. Being a bystander and just "accepting" that bullying is "normal" is not going to cut it, and you should know that being a bystander can be just as harmful as being the bully themselves...it is your and our responsibly to inform our kids about the different Types Of Bullying and how we can Take a Stand!
If you read this and you do not fully understand the effects of bullying you might want to check out those first, so that way you have a fully grasp on why this topic of Taking a Stand Against Bullying is so important.
I want to take the time to break down a few things you should keep in mind when trying to stand up to bullying and the importance of each one. Being a bystander and just "accepting" that bullying is "normal" is not going to cut it, and you should know that being a bystander can be just as harmful as being the bully themselves...it is your and our responsibly to inform our kids about the different Types Of Bullying and how we can Take a Stand!
Group Up
| It is important that your kid understands the environment that they are in and are well prepared for bullying. One of the best things that you can do is to explain to them why it is important to have a group of friends and what it does to prevent bullying. Motivate them to make the right friends in school and travel in that group especially when going through “bully territory.” Work on them collaboratively to develop how they can make the right friends. This is a good way to take a stand against bullying. |  |
Stronger Voices
 | Watch Lion King with them once. Get to the part where Simba tries to roar as a cub in front of the three hyenas. After that scene is done, pause the movie and have a short discussion to explain to them how those hyenas represented bullies and what a strong voice can do and that violence isn’t the answer. Also assure them that if things get out of hand, adults that you know are always there to help. When your kids take a stand against bullying it usually involves standing up for themselves and being assertive. Bullies will back off when your kid is assertive and shows that he is not the easy target that they are searching for. Help them practice their “roar” and when it really matters, they’ll be able to do it in front of those bullies. |
Ditch the Phone to be Aware
| Awareness of the surroundings is an important part of evading a potential bullying situation. Tell them to lose their phones when walking in and around school, home or elsewhere. Do they see a rough group of boys around the school? Is the guy in the car near the Carl’s Jr. keeping an eye on them? Is there a car near the bus stop that shouldn’t be there? If the kids know that have to steer clear from these areas when they can, and trust that uneasy feeling in their stomach, they can avoid bullies as well as potential mugging or assault attempts in their adult life. |  |
Know When to Back Out
Lastly, tell them that they can take a stand against bullying when they step away from a bad situation going worse. They often don’t realize that stepping away from a fight is the right thing to do most of the times. They think it is cowardice to turn away, so remind them that it takes a lot of courage just to step out of a bullying situation when it’s becoming worse.
The Anti- Bullying - Zombie Squirts books are a fun way to open up the conversation of bullying with your child!
12/15/2017 0 Comments
The 4 Types of Bullying
There are Many Types of Bullying
Bullying isn't just a blanket term...
The term "bullying" can wear many different hats. It isn't just a blanket statement that covers every aspect of the word. There are multiple forms of Bullying and different levels that they can each be taken to.
However, it works very simply in our minds if we can group things together to gain a much better understanding about it.
So, I have taken the liberty to break down the different types of Bullying into simple-to-understand bullet points that list them into four categories:
However, it works very simply in our minds if we can group things together to gain a much better understanding about it.
So, I have taken the liberty to break down the different types of Bullying into simple-to-understand bullet points that list them into four categories:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Cyber
- Social
Keep in mind we will not being going into the individual effects each of these have on the victim, but just explaining what they are so you can better see these things happening around you in a clearer light.
Sometimes once you can identify the monster for exactly what it is and break it apart piece by piece, that is when you are able to learn its weaknesses and hopefully eliminate it
Sometimes once you can identify the monster for exactly what it is and break it apart piece by piece, that is when you are able to learn its weaknesses and hopefully eliminate it
"It's important to stand up to all forms of bullying, and it's even more important for those who are around you to be just as courageous and stand with you!" — Normani Kordei
Social Bullying
This one can be hard to pin point...
| Social bullying is sort of a hard one to identify. It really is unlike all the other forms of bullying. As you dive into the other forms, your will find that the other 3 are mainly directed towards someone right to them specifically. With social bullying, it is technically an act that involves talking petty behind someone's back. This could be through:
Social bullying is like a gateway bullying system. They try it and get away with it, or are never held accountable for their actions. This can lead to a life-long pattern of terrible behaviors that could get others or even themselves hurt. |  "Not everyone has been a bully or the victim of bullies, but everyone has seen bullying, and seeing it, has responded to it by joining in or objecting, by laughing or keeping silent, by feeling disgusted or feeling interested." |
Cyber Bullying
Cyber Bullying is Serious
Cyber bullying has really taken force in the last few years. Ever since the ability to contact anything at virtually anytime for any reason, people have found a way to take an amazing form of technology and use it for evil. Cyber-bullying can be broken into two main categories:
- Hardware
- Software
Hardware
| Hardware is anything physically tangible to a human being. There are multiple ways that bullying has been channeled through a form of hardware. Some examples are:
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Software
 | Of course, being able to use a smart phone, tablet or computer is one thing, but how are people most likely connected through these devices? That's right, through the Software that enables direct communication from one person/party to another. Some examples are
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There has been a small debate on whether or not cyber-bullying really is a form of true "bullying" or not. When it comes right down to it, if you are involved in something that is actively meant to diminish, hurt or cause physical/mental damage to another human being... You are a bully. It does not matter how or where you perform the action.
Period. End of story
Period. End of story
Verbal Bullying
Words carry weight...
Verbal bullying is by far the most common form of bullying that presents itself. This is such a subtle way of bullying that at the moment may seem harmless, but it is far from it
| Verbal bullying is when something is spoken out towards a victim by the bully themselves. The main direction the bully is shooting for is to try and cut down the victim using words. We have all heard the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." This is a nice phrase used to show kids and adults that we don't need to take what other people say about us to heart.  |  It promotes us to take more action for ourselves and not let others get the best of us. But, let's be honest, WORDS DO HURT. In fact, they hurt quite a bit depending on context and the situational instance. Forms of verbal bullying include:
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Get Your hands OFF!
So, last but not least, we get to the end of the Bullying Saga. We have so far discussed three forms of bullying:
- Social
- Cyber
- Verbal
Physical Bullying
Physical Bullying...the worst one?
 | Physical Bullying is when someone has broken the boundaries of the internet, their social status and even gone further than saying hurtful things to someone. They have now decided that physical violence is the "answer." Physical Bullying is any of the following, but not limited to:
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Do not brush off these signs of attacks, whether you are a victim or a bystander. Remember, if you do NOTHING to help the victim, you are no better than the bully.
Speak up.
Speak up.
Zombie Squirts are the ONLY Anti-Bullying Zombie Kids "Alive!" These fun characters show the importance of accepting everyone for who they are. These Children's books are a perfect Gift! Get Your Copy TODAY!
 | Why Should I Say Anything at All?We all have seen bullying in the hallways of our schools, both grade school and high school. A lot of the time, it can seem overwhelming to know what actions you need to take when you see something like this. You may be thinking things like:
Teaching our children at a young age about the effects of bullying, can help us save thousands of lives per year! |
5. Do NOT Ignore it...
If you ignore it, are you any better than the bully?
| Ignoring problems and hoping they go away will never end in peace and resolution. You should never assume that any form of bullying is just innocent "teasing".
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4. Stay Calm and Collected...
Do not let your emotions get away from you...
 | Do not let your emotions get away from you...When you witness someone being bullied it can be an emotional roller coaster. You may want to react right away in a fit of fury. Anger is a natural human emotion, but it is best to remain calm and make sure that you do not add fuel to the fire.
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3. Make Mental Notes About the Situation...
Do not overlook all the details...
In a heated moment of bullying, it can be easy to lose sight of the important details of the situation. Make sure that after you follow step 4 of "remain calm and collected", you take a look at your surroundings.
So, make sure that you pay close attention and keep mental notes about everything going on. This information will become very important later on
- When did it take place?
- Who was there?
- Who was the Bully?
- Who was the Victim?
- What time of day was it?
So, make sure that you pay close attention and keep mental notes about everything going on. This information will become very important later on
2. Talk to the Victim About It
Ask these simple questions to get the whole story...
| Once you have taken in all of the surroundings of the situation, make sure you speak to the victim about what happened. Some questions that you should ask him/her:
If the student tells you that they have spoken up about the situation before, but nothing proactive has been done to fix it, then you will have to make sure you speak passionately about it in the next step |  |
1. Tell Someone!
The final step in the process...
Now that you have followed the other 4 steps it is time to tell someone. Make sure you get a teacher, vice principal, superintendent or parent involved.
You have already decided that you were not going to ignore the problem, you are calm and collected, you have gathered all the mental notes you need about the situation and you have talked to the victim and know exactly what he/she is going through.
It is time to take all of this information to somebody with authority. Do not take no for an answer, especially if this is an ongoing thing. This needs to be stopped, and if you don't make it a big deal, nobody else will either. This is not the time to be afraid, it is the time to take actions and make sure you help someone in need. Never let anyone discourage you from helping others, that person's life could be on the line
You have already decided that you were not going to ignore the problem, you are calm and collected, you have gathered all the mental notes you need about the situation and you have talked to the victim and know exactly what he/she is going through.
It is time to take all of this information to somebody with authority. Do not take no for an answer, especially if this is an ongoing thing. This needs to be stopped, and if you don't make it a big deal, nobody else will either. This is not the time to be afraid, it is the time to take actions and make sure you help someone in need. Never let anyone discourage you from helping others, that person's life could be on the line
Taking the time...
As a parent, teacher or by-stander, it can be overwhelming and difficult to know what to do, but if you follow these 5 steps, you will have the confidence to take action!
Taking the time to care about others and finding something valuable to you is very important. Anytime you can learn something new and educate yourself on the importance of bullying, we are all making one step closer to a more kind and loving world!
Taking the time to care about others and finding something valuable to you is very important. Anytime you can learn something new and educate yourself on the importance of bullying, we are all making one step closer to a more kind and loving world!
Zombie Squirts are the ONLY Anti-Bullying Zombie Kids "Alive!" These fun characters show the importance of accepting everyone for who they are. These Children's books are a perfect Gift! Get Your Copy TODAY!
"Mamma Z"
Mamma Z is the Author and Illustrator of the Children's Book Series "Zombie Squirts." She is on a mission to eliminate bullying!
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